this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
