Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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