is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
