Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
