Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
You did what with his pubic hair?
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