from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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