Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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