I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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