Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
