Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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