im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize
