I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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