I never want to see another naked old woman again.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
