The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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