I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
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