At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
ttyl tear gas
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
