I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
