my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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