he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
