Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I want to be your penis for a week.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Oh god it's open bar.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
