ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
