u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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