People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
