New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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