he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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