Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
