We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
