You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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