So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
