I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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