yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
