I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
