Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
