I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
