i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
