If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
