porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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