I wish my penis had an off switch
she looked like the before picture.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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