You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
