not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize