woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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