How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
i need some magic done to my vagina
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
