I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Randomize
