I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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