Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
