Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
