made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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