You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
