Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Sorry about my life...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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