Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
it glows. i had to have it.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
