But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
