Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
