Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
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