She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You left your phone here
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