i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
where am i from again
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
