We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
