Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i came on her dog
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
