Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
