When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
