I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I love having hate sex.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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