I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
