Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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