i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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