scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
These tits shall not be calmed
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
