dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize