Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
