He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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