Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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