So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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