thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
