...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
